Memories: Choosing a Loving Narrative

Over the Holidays, I spent time reminiscing with my family and loved ones.  We laughed, we cried, we got annoyed and frustrated, as we each recalled the memories from our lives that tie us together.  The triumphs we’ve shared, heartaches we’ve endured, and the moments that brought us joy… We each recalled them in our own way, with our own details, and each with our unique heart-strings that triggered other memories, other attachments, other themes in our lives.

Whether I was with my sisters recalling our childhood events, my children listening to their stories of growing up, or my parents and elder members of the family, not one of us had the same relocation of events.  We each had our own version, our own feelings, and our own meanings that we assigned to each memory.  

Sometimes, memories of joy for some would be a source of agony for another.  What was happening?  How could this be?  We all shared the same original experience.  Why did some of us choose to remember it one way, and others not?  

Research shows the only 40-60% of all our memories are accurate.  That means that 40-60% of all of our memories are inaccurate!  Nearly half of all our memories are inaccurate to some degree. Think about that for a minute.  Research has also shown that each time we recall a memory, especially emotionally charged memories, we add to it.  Our feelings, fears and insecurities about the incident get layered over the original memory.  Our thoughts, ideas and reasoning about the incident get layered over the original memory.  Our embellishments, exaggerations, exasperations all blend and distort the original memory.  The misunderstandings become solidified as facts in our minds.  The missing pieces get filled in with stories we have told ourselves that we believe must be so.

Knowing that most of things that we remember are misinterpreted - far from the truth of the events that we witnessed, and understanding how our brains store and recall past events, can make it easier to let go of our attachments to those memories that trigger us so deeply.

Knowing that most of the stories and events in our memory banks have been misfiled, corrupted with our own fears and insecurities, gives us the power to  decide to reprogram our thoughts and our memories - to choose a more loving way to remember our past.  The history of our lives does not change, but how we choose to recall and talk about our past can change.  

We can choose to release ourselves from the energetic patterns that tie us to certain events.  We can choose to feel differently about the people involved in the memory and the role that we assigned to them.  We can choose to recall our memories through the lens of love, compassion and forgiveness.  We can choose to to let go of the pain, suffering, anger and resentments that we have held onto for so long.  We can choose to move into the knowing that everything that happens is just an experience that we are encountering, rather than something happening to us.   And, we can choose to see each experience in our lives as an opportunity to grow and recognize each encounter as an aspect of Creation for the highest and greatest good.

When we reframe our memories with this parameter, it forces us to really look at the events and choices of our life in a new perspective.

This terrible thing happened.  It was horrific.  I was deeply troubled, hurt, confused …

How is that for our highest and greatest good?

What did you learn?

Did you start to do something different in your life as a result?

Did someone else around you learn what they needed as a result of that even?

Sometimes, we may never know exactly the reasons or meanings behind the events in our life, but when we can begin to allow ourselves to see them as the highest and greatest good.  We can then begin to heal the wounds that we created in association with them. 

So much of our stuff can be changed with just our willingness to no longer allow it to control us or dictate how we feel or relate to ourselves as a result of the occurrence.

Our memories are so important to us.  They define how we think about ourselves and how we form opinions about other people.  They store our feelings and our emotional responses that hold us in resonance with our view of the world around us.  Our thoughts often replay our memories over and over.  We then narrate these memories, over laying them with additional thoughts and opinions about how and why things happened the way they did, until eventually, the memories that we hold so tightly represent nothing like the actual events that created them.

We become attached to both the memories of endearment as well as those of heartache and trauma.  

How we choose to think about and remember the events, circumstances and feelings of our life is indeed our choice.  You have the power and capacity to choose a different way of being in the world, of interacting, remembering and feeling.  So much of our existence is based on misinterpretation of events that get stored as corrupt files within the fabric of our minds. 

You can begin to reprogram your mind to think different thoughts, to respond differently in the moment and to feel differently than you have felt in the past.

Energy healing looks at the vibrational patterns that hold you in a particular cycle of thought to bring greater awareness to your reality and release the negative constraints that you have tied to yourself.

Here’s something you can try.

Think or imagine your memories as streams of light, threads or cords.

Begin to notice how you feel as you are engaged with a particular memory.

Are you happy, sad, angry, hurt?  Ask yourself, “Why?”

What is it about each memory, situation that brings about the emotional response you are experiencing.

Begin to notice and become aware of how you have chosen to operate in your experience.

Let go of any judgments that may arise through this exercise.  This is just a simple curious exploration of self. 

Ask yourself, “what was it about ______ that caused me to feel so ____ and make ______ choice in that moment.”

Where else do I do, feel, experience the same or similar behavior/feeling?

When you begin to recognize which situations trigger certain undesirable responses or feelings, you can then begin to notice when they are occurring as they happen.  At that point, you can begin to consciously choose to respond and feel differently.

If you would like help recognizing and releasing the energetic cords that are limiting your full Divine expression of love and joy in your life, I would love to work with you.  Schedule a Let’s Get Acquainted Call today to see if we would be a good fit to work together on your Journey of Self to Soul.

Many Blessings,

Jelan